Posts Tagged ‘Texas’
Last week I went to Austin, Texas, to see my sister and her lovely twin boys (almost a year old!) and attend a wedding. My husband Adam’s buddy was getting married and he was the best man. Double the fun!
Thursday night was so much fun, my sister got a sitter, and her husband, Adam and I went out for a big fat delicious dinner of Mexican food at Trudy’s. We were talking about our kids and how, now that we are parents, awful news stories about children jump out at us. My sister finally had to stop herself from reading these stories, too upsetting. Now that we have kids, we are so much more vulnerable. These stories are reminders that something bad can happen to anyone at anytime, including ourselves. We finally had to change the subject. Downer dinner talk!
There’s a contest over at Uppercase Woman to win an iPad 2, sponsored by Buy More Contacts – head on over there for a chance to win one yourself! If you haven’t had a chance to get to know Cecily, you should. She’s an honest writer, even when it’s uncomfortable. I appreciate that.
She shared a story about getting contact lenses when she was a teen, which inspired me to share my story too.
If you haven’t been keeping up with Live Green Mom, I grew up in Texas with three sisters and a single mom that was all about being a Born Again Christian. She even became an ordained minister. I don’t know how to explain the whole thing well, but she believed in faith healing, speaking in tongues, and the casting out of demons.
So I already went on about some ‘stuff’ I do buy and enjoy. How about some stuff I enjoy for free around the holidays?
While I do not appreciate the fact that one of the local radio stations started playing Christmas carols 24/7 on November 1, I do enjoy a few choice festive tunes.
I know this is a blog about trying to be a greener mom and greening my family. But I like for my readers to know a bit more about me, so every so often I throw in something personal.
I grew up in a suburb of Dallas, Texas with my three sisters. My parents divorced when I was in third grade, and my mom worked hard to try and keep it all together. It wasn’t easy for her, she had a high school education but hadn’t worked to support a family of four children until my parents split. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for her, I was caught up in my own kid world as all kids can be.
I’m a mom trying to live green. But right now I am sharing just as a mom.
I am 40. I am light years away from being a teenager. But I have a very good memory, many will tell you. (Especially my husband). I remember those high ups & low downs well. Women experience it differently than men, I believe. In technicolor, directed by Spielberg. That roller coaster of emotions you rode with abandon. The utter drama you could create out of nothing, over nothing. The stuff you never thought you would get over, but did. Eventually. I remember having room mate issues my first year of college that I was SURE some big Hollywood producer or publisher would want to make into a movie or a book it was THAT BAD. HA! I laugh now! When I watch any reality television, I know now, I was boring. Comparatively so.
I was 12 when I first ‘went’ with a boy. Whatever that meant then. He was just testing out the waters of having a girlfriend, and I, needy & clingy, did not fit the bill. A couple of weeks into it (a long time in the 12 year old world) he gave me the equivalent of a ‘never mind, I didn’t really mean this whole going together thing’. I was so torn up at this rejection, I ran into my room, threw myself on my bed and cried until my eyes burned. My mom came in my room to drop off some laundry and without even looking up from the basket calmly asked me what was up. I froze. I was not supposed to having anything to do with boys. My mom, a single mom, with four daughters, was a born again Christian. We went to church. Often. I went to the original Word of Faith and was baptized by 
Robert Tilton himself. Very, very into all of that. Speaking in tongues, healing of the sick through faith and prayers. She went on to be an ordained minister. You get the point. I choked it out, an edited version of my heart getting broken. I wanted my mommy to hold me, comfort me and help me work through this pain. I should have known better, that’s not who my mom was. What I got was a disapproving, “You knew you weren’t supposed to have a boyfriend. You sinned and this is what happens when you sin.” And she left with the empty laundry basket. Ouch.
You know what I learned from that experience? Don’t let my mom in on anything, at all costs. Because in the world I grew up in, everything was a sin. (I have never said the word ‘god@!$*’ out loud in my life because it was the fast track to hell, guaranteed.)
My little girl is eight but I see she is like me as a little girl. The drama is starting, but it isn’t bad. (I know drama, I created alot of it myself for badly needed attention.) Yet. She is so passionate about whatever she is into - art, Little House on the Prairie books, her beloved Webkinz. I can see where that will go when she begins to experience more mature relationships. She will have friends and boyfriends and broken hearts. I think it is much harder these days for tweens/teens. There is a different level of pressure with the influence of the internet and crap on TV.
I have memories of how my mom was and the mental notes I made when I was a kid. What I would and wouldn’t do as a mom. I told myself I wouldn’t yell at my kids as much as my mom yelled at us (I don’t yell nearly as much but, yes, I still holler when I need to) and I promised myself I would ‘pooh-pooh’ my children’s emotions just because I had grown up and figured it all out. Why do we as adults dismiss the intense feelings of the young? Just because we have been through it and know these feeling fade? I wouldn’t trivialize it and tell them it will pass. I am remembering these promises I made to my kids so long before I ever had them.
She needs to have her drama to an extent so she can work through it, deal with it, work it out, and be done with it. It’s part of a valuable growing process that will serve her well later. And I want her to know she can come to me with it, and I will hold her, comfort her, and listen to her. I will take her seriously. So will her Daddy.
I don’t know what the teen years hold for us. But I am trying to be prepared. This is the first step. because I know what is coming. As Max mutters under his breath, at the age of 5 with a roll of his eyes:
“Drama, drama, drama.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
