Posts Tagged ‘healing’
I’m a mom trying to live green. But right now I am sharing just as a mom.
I am 40. I am light years away from being a teenager. But I have a very good memory, many will tell you. (Especially my husband). I remember those high ups & low downs well. Women experience it differently than men, I believe. In technicolor, directed by Spielberg. That roller coaster of emotions you rode with abandon. The utter drama you could create out of nothing, over nothing. The stuff you never thought you would get over, but did. Eventually. I remember having room mate issues my first year of college that I was SURE some big Hollywood producer or publisher would want to make into a movie or a book it was THAT BAD. HA! I laugh now! When I watch any reality television, I know now, I was boring. Comparatively so.
I was 12 when I first ‘went’ with a boy. Whatever that meant then. He was just testing out the waters of having a girlfriend, and I, needy & clingy, did not fit the bill. A couple of weeks into it (a long time in the 12 year old world) he gave me the equivalent of a ‘never mind, I didn’t really mean this whole going together thing’. I was so torn up at this rejection, I ran into my room, threw myself on my bed and cried until my eyes burned. My mom came in my room to drop off some laundry and without even looking up from the basket calmly asked me what was up. I froze. I was not supposed to having anything to do with boys. My mom, a single mom, with four daughters, was a born again Christian. We went to church. Often. I went to the original Word of Faith and was baptized by 
Robert Tilton himself. Very, very into all of that. Speaking in tongues, healing of the sick through faith and prayers. She went on to be an ordained minister. You get the point. I choked it out, an edited version of my heart getting broken. I wanted my mommy to hold me, comfort me and help me work through this pain. I should have known better, that’s not who my mom was. What I got was a disapproving, “You knew you weren’t supposed to have a boyfriend. You sinned and this is what happens when you sin.” And she left with the empty laundry basket. Ouch.
You know what I learned from that experience? Don’t let my mom in on anything, at all costs. Because in the world I grew up in, everything was a sin. (I have never said the word ‘god@!$*’ out loud in my life because it was the fast track to hell, guaranteed.)
My little girl is eight but I see she is like me as a little girl. The drama is starting, but it isn’t bad. (I know drama, I created alot of it myself for badly needed attention.) Yet. She is so passionate about whatever she is into - art, Little House on the Prairie books, her beloved Webkinz. I can see where that will go when she begins to experience more mature relationships. She will have friends and boyfriends and broken hearts. I think it is much harder these days for tweens/teens. There is a different level of pressure with the influence of the internet and crap on TV.
I have memories of how my mom was and the mental notes I made when I was a kid. What I would and wouldn’t do as a mom. I told myself I wouldn’t yell at my kids as much as my mom yelled at us (I don’t yell nearly as much but, yes, I still holler when I need to) and I promised myself I would ‘pooh-pooh’ my children’s emotions just because I had grown up and figured it all out. Why do we as adults dismiss the intense feelings of the young? Just because we have been through it and know these feeling fade? I wouldn’t trivialize it and tell them it will pass. I am remembering these promises I made to my kids so long before I ever had them.
She needs to have her drama to an extent so she can work through it, deal with it, work it out, and be done with it. It’s part of a valuable growing process that will serve her well later. And I want her to know she can come to me with it, and I will hold her, comfort her, and listen to her. I will take her seriously. So will her Daddy.
I don’t know what the teen years hold for us. But I am trying to be prepared. This is the first step. because I know what is coming. As Max mutters under his breath, at the age of 5 with a roll of his eyes:
“Drama, drama, drama.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
My armpits clearly were telling me something. Something I didn’t want to hear and ignored for a long time.
Last winter while talking with a group of girlfriends, one of them started making monkey noises and scratching at her armpits. I looked at her in confusion and she said, “You are always scratching your pits!” I wasn’t offended. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it, I itch my pits so often. I appreciate and encourage others to be honest with me.
“Because they always itch!” I responded. She asked me why and I didn’t know. But – I had an idea.
I know that you can develop allergies to long-term use products. In late 2008, after removing make up from my eyes the same way I always did, with Vaseline, since I began using makeup, I had a nasty reaction that lasted 4 days. (Please note that I only wear make-up about 10 times a year. Too lazy!) Swollen, puffy, crusty, painful, bloodshot eyes. I couldn’t wear my contacts. I just had to deal. I bought all new make up, nice stuff from Clinique & MAC. Nope, didn’t work. Same reaction. So I bought new make up again. Lancome. Prescriptives. Same reaction. I bought several different types of make up removers, from hypo-allergenic to the more expensive department store brands. Nothing worked. So now I have to pick and choose my occasions wisely. To wear make-up and deal with the aftermath or not?
I knew that my itchy pits were most likely an allergic reaction of whatever was in the anti-perspirant/deodorant. I consulted my doctor this past fall, who agreed that it did indeed sound like an allergy, and he offered to refer me to an allergist. No thanks, what are they gonna do, put me on meds so I can wear Secret? Whatever.
Do you know how deo/antiperspirant works? Your sweat isn’t what smells, it’s bacteria that feeds on your sweat, in the perfect place for it to breed, the dark, moist and warm confines of your armpits, that create that musky aroma. Sexy!
Deo/anti-perspirants work by plugging up the sweat glands to reduce sweat, therefore reducing odor. The main ingredient that does that is aluminum salts. There is so much controversy about aluminum salts. You have researchers saying it’s an urban legend rampant on the web, and that there is no truth whatsoever in any claim that there could be a link between an increase in breast cancer as well as an increase in Alzheimer’s disease.
But cancer researcher Philippa Darbre, PhD, of the University of Reading in England, doesn’t see it that way. She believes the evidence is mounting that the aluminum-based active ingredient in antiperspirants can mimic estrogen in the body.
“Lifetime exposure to estrogen is the risk factor which is tied most strongly to breast cancer,” Darbre tells WebMD. “If the aluminum salts in antiperspirants enter the body and mimic estrogen it stands to reason that constant exposure over many years may pose a risk.”
Doctors and researchers always have to say “may pose a risk” or “could possibly…” They cannot speak in absolutes until all research is done and considered conclusive. Until everyone agrees. And not everyone is going to agree, naturally. It isn’t in ‘everyone’s’ best financial interest to agree. I’m not talking conspiracy theory here, people. But let’s be honest. We know how Big Pharma works.
I would love to see a study done on women who have never worn deo/antiperspirant in their lives (they exist, right?) and women who have. See the differences.
So I stopped wearing deo/antiperspirant cold turkey in early September. It was a big decision, now I had to figure out what I was going to do, so that I did not offend.
Within 2 days my armpits stopped itching, what a relief that was! I didn’t even realize how awful my pits had felt until I realized how good my pits felts not using anything! Whew!
But right away you notice other differences. I’ve been using deo/anti-perspiant since I was 14. So I wasn’t used to the feeling of wetness there. I am not an overly sweaty girl, but I do run, work hard in my yard – you get the picture. It isn’t feminine or pretty to have that sweaty half-moon out there for all to see.
And then there was the smell. I am not an overly smelly chick (in my own opinion) but I do run and work in the yard and blah blah blah, you get the point. A sweaty odoriferous half-moon is truly unattractive, and I am an expressive woman that waves her arms 
around to get my point across. Waving my stink in all directions. I could certainly smell myself. My 8 year old daughter went to give me a hug that landed her squarely in Pittsville. “Phoo! What’s that smell mommy?”
*Sigh* That would be me.
Please join me for my next post, where I discuss the good, the bad, and the smelly adventures of finding a greener solution to my armpit issue. Sounds big!
On Monday I will be 40 years old. I know what the perceptions are of being a 40 year old woman. It’s over. Clearly youth and sparkle has faded and now instead of being enchanting & interesting, I will merely exist and make way for the 20-35 year old women. 35-40 are the ‘slide’ years. You can pass for younger. But once you hit 40, it is going to show. Everybody will know. We are conditioned to believe this as we grow up, and I believe the sit-com is a big perpetrator of this myth. (I also believe the sit-com is guilty of making us believe we should insult our spouses in front of family and friends, but that is a whole other post for a different blog altogether.)
Yes, MYTH! I have said it before, I have no problem turning 40! You know why? Because I truly enjoyed my 20′s and 30′s. I ran around the country, worked different jobs, met some very interesting and engaging people that I am still in contact with today. (Thanks, Face Book!) I met my husband through one of those jobs. In 1998 I rode my bicycle 300 miles in three days from Boston to New York City for the AIDS ride, for which I raised almost $5000. My new husband was waiting at the finish line for me, waving his arms wildly and cheering so loud. I had two children. I didn’t sleep for 3.5 years after having my two kids. Literally! I had suffered with back problems. I made friends with other families with children the same age. I became totally sub-urbanized. I love to get dirty taking care of my acre of yard. I know, weird!
You get the picture. We all have these memories. And I am not saying that if you didn’t have the best 20′s and 30′s, that 40 will surely suck. 40 could be the age when you start to turn it around. But 39 was a big turning point for me.
As I mentioned before, as I entered the ‘slide’ years (35-39, as noted above) I started to realize that I needed to more for the environment. I began recycling more and trying to teach my husband to do the same. I remember once in the beginning he threw away the package that muffins come in – you know, the cardboard tray inside the plastic baggie. I said, hey, that can be recycled! He pointed out that the cardboard was in the baggie, so it couldn’t be recycled. I pulled the cardboard out, tossed it into the proper bin, and put the plastic baggie in my t0-be-recycled-bag. There. Easy peachy. I say this not to make my hubs look dumb, he isn’t, but I just needed to show him, it’s no big deal. The same way we show our children (over and over as the case may be). After that, no problem.
But 39. It was a very good year.
And anyone who knows me, knows I enjoy eating healthy. Not all the time. I love the crap food too, but for the most part, give me healthy. The hardest part of eating healthy is trying to make your kids eat healthy too. Some of you moms have done an amazing job at this feat. Some of you moms are nodding your head in total agreement.
I, sadly, have not. No, even with my healthy eating habits. I don’t feed my kids endless junk. I make sure they get plenty of fresh fruit, always available in my house. But I didn’t get them eating vegetables at an early age. (No sleep for 3.5 years and 30 months total of breastfeeding will leave little room for a mom to want to cook meals. Promise.) I didn’t even cook that much when I didn’t have kids. I am fine with cereal for dinner, peanut butter toast, whatever. I am all about what is easy. But easy backfired on me. I will be writing about my children’s eating issues later. Right now this is about me.
So, as this past year marched on, I came to the conclusion that if my kids are not gonna eat full on meals with veggies on the side and all that blah-blah-blah, I would at least try and get the organics into them. I have always used organic milk. this past year I have been doing more research on chemicals, dyes, additives, high fructose corn syrup, the whole she-bang. I am horrified by what I have learned. I will get more into all that later in another post, too. So I started moving us over to more organic fruits, vegetables, crackers and cookies.
Oooh. Not cheap! (I watched my grocery bill rise almost 40% in some cases). But at least I feel like less of a half-ass mom.
I also became more aware of what I was using to clean. As a stay at home mom who likes a neat and clean home, I realized that I was cleaning the kitchen 3, 4, sometimes 5 times a day! Between feeding kids and their friends, that is a lot of Clorox spray. Too much. So I discovered VINEGAR! If you haven’t cleaned with vinegar, please, get over the smell. More about vinegar in many future posts.
I also discovered the benefits of raw organic apple cider vinegar. I warm 8 oz of distilled water for a minute in the microwave, mix in a tablespoon of the apple cider vinegar (Braggs or Edens is easy to come by and contains the very-good-for-you mother) and a tablespoon of raw organic honey about4- 5 times a week. I swish out my mouth 
with fresh water after drinking it, since vinegar is an acid, and therefore not good to leave on your teeth. Just like excess sugar isn’t good for your teeth. No it doesn’t taste great but it doesn’t taste that bad. I will get into the reasons why it is supposed to help in a later post, but it is supposed to keep you from getting sick easily. I want to tell you, this past November, my husband and Sophie both had the flu, and by his doctor’s estimate without a test, my son had the swine flu. I have not been sick since March 2009. not even with my yearly sinus infection. I have had no flu shot or H1Ni vaccine this year. And I have flown on planes filled with hacking snotty hoards three times this year. Placebo effect, you say? Who cares if that is what it is! I haven’t been sick. That’s what I care about.
I taught myself how to ride a unicycle this past summer. I have been working on it since the summer of 2008, but it wasn’t until this past summer I was able to actually make it down my long driveway without falling off. It is hard. But I always wanted to learn. I became an expert at falling off.
I discovered Tea Tree Oil. Wow. Anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, anti-viral. Future posts on the benefits of this one!
I don’t want to give away a future post but I will give you moms a hint: it got rid of my daughter’s molluscum warts. Faster than the dermatologist prescription got rid of my son’s warts, too.
I went off the Pill two weeks ago. That is a huge leap for me. I figured it was time for me to go it sans synthetic hormones. I depend on the pill to manage the heavy-duty periods I have inherited and my skin break-outs. I will keep you posted how it goes. It could get ugly. TMI, you say? No such thing on this blog. Letting it all hang out.
There are some other things I figured out. It’s all coming down the blogging pike.
I think that is a pretty good year, for being 39 and all. I had a friend freak OUT when she turned 30, she couldn’t believe her 20′s were over. What we wouldn’t give for another go ’round at 30!
What about you? What have you figured out this past year? I’d love to know.
(Note: If you haven’t read my disclaimer, to sum it up: I am not a doctor. Do your own research. Everything I use is in moderation. Even the healthy stuff isn’t healthy in excess. And I do not get paid a cent to talk about these products. these do happen to be the products I use, though.)
The seeds were planted a long time ago. Summer of 1982, in Hamburg Germany. I was 12 years old and spending the summer there visiting my Oma and Opa. I remember walking into town with them. Seeing a car pull off to the side of the road, watching a man drop old batteries into a metal container and driving off. I asked my grandparents what was he doing; they explained that he was throwing the batteries away in a special container so that they may be thrown away properly. I thought to myself, “what a hassle! Just throw them in the trash at home!” and promptly forgot about the incident.
Until college. Texas Tech University, Lubbock Texas. Working at a fudge & coffee store in the mall, autumn 1990. I was 20. We had a key location at a four corners intersection where you could get food, sit and rest, socialize. We were a walk up store, not one you could enter into, with a coffee bar at one end where you could have a sit and a joe. Busy Saturday afternoon, lots of people eating fudge and drinking the then newly novel (in that small town, anyways!) cappuccinos at our counter. A woman orders a soft drink and the owner/manager hands it to her in a Styrofoam cup. The woman then launches into a whole clearly pre-thought out spiel about how bad Styrofoam is, choking up landfills with non-biodegradable waste. She is angry and pious. The owner, a thoughtful woman, listened. (A lot of people were listening, wanting to see where this was going) Though the owner didn’t know what to say, she was just trying to run her business. The woman who ordered the drink handed it back and said she didn’t want it. I saw what was going on, this was her way of making an impact, now we would have to eat the loss of the drink and the cup. To me, that woman trying to make her point had just put that cup into the landfill herself. We got on with our business. I forgot about the whole thing pretty quickly.
Maybe 1993. Hanging out with my friends, a good bunch of us that just hung out together. We were always at Bryan and Dave’s rented house, it was the most comfortable place to be. I forget who it was but someone brought up recycling. I don’t know why. Maybe there was an initiative on campus. But I remember thinking to myself, “what a pain in the ass, recycling! Like we don’t have enough to do already! Just throw it away and be done with it!” That was what I had thought. I remember it clearly. I didn’t want to add something else to my life, there was enough stuff in life you had to do without adding that to it. This whole recycling thing was starting to be like a pesky mosquito that kept buzzing around my ears, it won’t go away.
It took me many years later to figure it out. That throwing something ‘away” really just meant throwing it ‘away from me‘. And since we are all throwing it away from me that means it has to go somewhere, near someone else. At some point that could be you. Or me.
What’s the impact there? This is huge.
This is a blog about my journey. From naive, dismissive, and ignorant, refusing to engage in any of this nonsense called recycling, being green, making a difference. To trying to see how little waste me and my family can produce. To wanting to learn more about organic food. Living naturally. Healing naturally. Passing this on to my kids. I am just beginning. And this blog is more than just about all that.
Wanna come with? Let’s go…
